Maternity

Maternity is something overrated, or at least over hyped. I don’t say this is because I hate children, or I am averse to the idea of being a mother. I am not one and I don’t think I am the right judge when it comes to that. But, I certainly think people need to abandon the notion that the ‘ultimate joy for a woman is becoming a mother’.

This post has stemmed from some observations, of late. Being a silent spectator to a few discussions that involve middle-aged woman, I noticed that everyone had one complaint- ‘nowadays, married daughters and daughters-in-law delay having kids. They think that it is no longer important.’ And, in one such conversations, where they carped about the absence of maternal instincts in girls nowadays, one of them discussed how a couple have decided not to have children. “You see how callous their attitude is towards the idea of having kids! What do they mean by they don’t want to have kids at all? How did the girl agree to it; she should have opposed the idea. How can she not want to be a mother,” said one angry aunt.

I am not surprised by the displeasure about no kids-plan, but picking on the girl for a decision that the couple unanimously agreed upon is outrageous. Despite, it being a fact that children are not a product of a single person’s attempt and effort, it is the woman who bears the brunt. And I don’t comprehend what is the correlation between happiness and kids. There are million examples of happy homes being converted into dwellings of misery and sorrows because of children, while there are countless cases of childless couples being happy.

However, people still want to equate happiness with children. By those standards, shouldn’t large families mean happiness? Ironically, the country’s biggest problem is unplanned families – a major cause for poverty. Anyways, I don’t want to get into economics; it is not my forte. It is a different issue altogether when a couple badly wants to have kids and they can’t because of some medical complications. Their plight is understandable and I feel sad for them.

People might want to gossip and abandon the topic after giving out a few sighs of disagreement, but they should realise the onus of bringing up a child is on the parents. Parenting is not a skill that people are born with and you shouldn’t shun a person for not possessing it, either. If people realise they will not be good parents, they might as well not become one. I respect couples, who don’t want to have children because they are pretty aware they won’t be good parents or cope with raising kids, than the ones who have children and are unable to give them their time and attention.

I don’t know if I am game for kids, psychologically, or if I am capable of having one, physically. But whatever the case is, I am sure I won’t lose sleep over it

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6 Responses to “Maternity”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    guess a topic on which i just cant leave a comment…

    • i know… was thinking the same.. but many women will relate to tht 🙂

      sure they have strong views abt this

      • Anonymous Says:

        hmm…haan can definitely understand….i thnk its a personal choice nd opinions wud differ person to person…i have a personal feeling that with so much population around and decreasing resources…some people would just do good if they act a bit selfish and are content with spending their entire earnings on themselves…I personally would love to be one of them but again in the end as you rightly said, it’s a women’s dream and a women’s forte…decision is best left to her…

  2. Good post 🙂 Actually, I could even visualize the aunties gossipping animatedly. Hehehehehe… Yes, it is an independent choice and should be treated as one.
    The thing is, the world is not the same anymore. Not having kids won’t mean that humanity will become extinct! Also, the ‘dharma’ of today demads people to do good to others – perhaps by adopting a homeless kid? Or by supporting an orphanage? Or by doing countless other activities to make the world a better place? Having kids, though a crucial part of humanity’s history, is not essential for every couple. Fulfillment in life can be achieved in many more ways.

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