Catharsis

I have a friend who writes posts, as if they are the simplest things to do. He writes with a nonchalance that is rare, and is down-to-earth with his words that the most complicated thoughts are reduced to easy sentences. I have no business judging his posts because he is much more experienced and a far more superior blogger than me by all standards.

However, I ought to thank him for inspiring me to start a blog. He says, you get a voice on your blog and develop your own style of writing. I don’t know about the style part, but I have  found my voice, writing posts for the past 3 months.

Earlier, I was nervous; I have always been so. In fact, that is why I kept postponing starting a blog. Some four years ago, I had a nondescript rediff blog. After spewing a few insipid posts, I was mortified to continue writing. I am just not cut out for it, I thought. But deep down, I had a gnawing thought: If I cannot write a blog, what am I doing in journalism.

In high school, I resolved to become a journo; I loved reading and writing; I still do. I never gave myself another career option; it was only journalism for me. But somehow, I could never muster the courage to write after a point. In school, I was good at English, making me a favourite among English teachers. This was much in contrast to my relationship with mathematics teachers. How they hated me for my indifference towards their subject.

Naturally, I assumed I was great at English, ignoring the little yet vital nuances of the language like punctuation and sentence construction. In college, too, there was little scope for any improvement because it was hardly English that we learnt. A long list of poems and stories had to be memorised and repeated in exams, tests, or whatever it was

But in J-school, things were different. Everything was practical there; no one could escape language and its intricacies. I remember the day when I went for a beat assignment and filed a story, assuming I had done a great job about it.

However, the task master professor I had, ripped apart my story, calling it utter trash. She told me things that no one in all those years in school and college had cared to point out. I was deeply disturbed, initially. One year in J-school was packed with lessons; I had to learn a lot. But by the end of it, there were several lessons still to be learnt.

After a PGD in journalism, one just assumes the world is all set to embrace you and your reports. But, my first job, too, gave me new insights into my writing. I remember my first boss flinging a copy on my face in disgust. It was a nightmare then, but today I am happy I went though that embarrassment. It made me open my eyes to things that I should have taken care of in school. I admired my colleagues who wrote with ease. When they weren’t around, I managed to silently go through their copies to know where I lacked and in that process picked up a few good tips on writing. It would be unfair if I don’t say how much I owe to them

Today, almost four years after joining the vocation, I still think that my writing has to evolve. I still look at my friends’ blogs and stories in awe, wishing to write like them someday.

And, I am eternally thankful to that friend to have coaxed me to start a blog. I am happy I took his words seriously. For, now opening up on my fears about writing, I have cleared my system of that lurking thought that tied my hands.

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5 Responses to “Catharsis”

  1. If you need any consolation, you can have a look at my blog and instantly feel better about your writing.

    btw, it was so relieving to know that someone writes as well as you, went through the phase I am in.

    Do post the guy’s blog address.

  2. Another good one… yu also got good story telling skills too, jas… 🙂

  3. Rajagopalan Says:

    a good piece of thoughts and words put together.. you have miles to go and one day you will do proud to those Eng teachers, your professor, the first boss – and not to forget, the person who pushed you into blogging. Wherever, whenever, however you’re, remember one thing, there are millions on this earth who cannot relate their thoughts to words and vice-versa.. that makes you far better!! Good luck n God bless.

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